Hi,
So something weird happened this week. And I’ve been sitting with it for a bit — not because I didn’t know how I felt, but because I didn’t know if it was even “blog-worthy.” But the more I thought about it, the more I realized… it kind of is.
It was a regular work-from-home day. I was in my zone — coding, reviewing, sipping chai. Wearing a tank top because, well, I’m at home, it’s July, and the fan only does so much. Comfort over couture, right?
Now, one of the modules I was working on required a liveness check. Basically, you have to record a quick video of yourself for validation. No big deal — I submitted mine like usual and moved on.
Later, I get this message from QA reviewing the flow:
“One request. The liveness test will not just take your face, it will cover half body. So please take care next time 🙂”
And I just… froze.
What exactly am I supposed to “take care” of?
The message didn’t say “don’t wear a tank top” — but it didn’t need to, did it?
That smiley at the end? The tone? It was all very polite, technically. But it still made me feel like I’d done something wrong just by being... comfortable?
Also, it’s WFH. I’m a developer. Why are we pretending like I showed up to the office in PJs?
Honestly? I doubt a guy would get a message asking him to “take care next time” if he wore a loose t-shirt or had bed hair. I doubt this would even be a conversation.
But here I was, second-guessing what I wear in my own house because someone decided “half body” also meant half judgment.
I let it slide. I didn’t respond.
Not because I agreed — but because I was tired.
And honestly, as a woman in tech, you start to calculate: Is it worth the conversation today?
But writing about it now feels like the better way to respond.
Here’s what gets to me:
Why are we still doing this?
Why are we still linking appearance with professionalism?
Why does “please take care” feel more like a dress code reminder than a system requirement?
If the work is getting done, the commits are clean, the logic holds — does my sleeve length matter?
You’re not alone.
And you’re not overthinking.
WFH should be about freedom, not new forms of quiet control.
Next time, I’ll still wear what I want.
And maybe I’ll still let it slide.
But I’ll also keep writing.
– Kiara
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